


Unintended Consequences

by Hokuto



Series: (Nice Dream): The Gaps In Between [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Sexy no Jutsu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-06
Updated: 2011-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hokuto/pseuds/Hokuto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto did promise to show Itachi his new technique...  Takes place during "(Nice Dream)" chapter 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unintended Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> I feel that y'all deserve a nice bit of fluff before the next couple of chapters go up - which I swear will be ANY DAY NOW, just as soon as one of my betas gets back to me... I'm truly sorry about how long it's been, hope this will help tide you over for now! *gets back to work*

Naruto had spent a lot of time practicing eating and talking at the same time, and it was totally paying off now; he could stuff himself with Itachi's awesome cooking (even if it was mostly leftovers, this time) _and_ keep telling Itachi and Sasuke and Sakura-chan his great graduation story - with some bits left out, though.

"- and then that jerk Mizuki totally lied about some stupid reason for Iruka-sensei to hate me," he said, grabbing a dumpling before Sasuke could take it, "and um - I believed it, but only for a minute! And he tried to trick me into giving the scroll back to him, but actually it was Iruka-sensei who'd turned into me and they started fighting super seriously and that jerk hurt Iruka-sensei, so I made a whole huge bunch of shadow clones and I beat him up!" He paused long enough to help himself to more noodles. "Um, Mizuki, not Iruka-sensei. And Iruka-sensei was super impressed by how strong I was and that I learned the jutsu all by myself in one night, so he gave me his forehead protector and told me I graduated! I'm awesome, right? Right?"

Sakura looked vaguely horrified at the idea that a teacher could be evil, even though Naruto'd been telling everyone that they were for years, and Itachi said, "That is impressive, Naruto-kun," as he took some of the empty dishes off the table. Sasuke just looked annoyed, which didn't bother Naruto; Sasuke looked annoyed pretty much any time Itachi talked to other people, but Naruto knew it was just to hide how relieved Sasuke was that Itachi wasn't paying attention to him. Well - Naruto was pretty sure that was it.

Anyway, he didn't mind keeping Itachi's attention off Sasuke. It was what friends did, probably! Plus Itachi was a creepy murderer and all, but at least he was nice about it, and he was a _great_ cook.

Sakura said, "I guess it is sort of cool - although you really shouldn't have stolen the scroll..."

"Aside from that," said Itachi, sitting down beside Sasuke again, "I'm sure your parents would be very proud."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. "My _parents_? Hey, hey, did you _know_ them?" No one in Konoha had ever admitted knowing who Naruto's parents were or anything about them, if they'd even talk to him or Sasuke at all - even Iruka-sensei, that cheapskate, wouldn't say anything except that the Kyuubi had killed them. Had Itachi known about his parents this whole time? That was so unfair! "C'mon, I wanna know all about them! Please, Itachi? Pleeeeeeease?"

Itachi had that sort of extra-blank expression he had whenever he really didn't want to talk about something but couldn't get out of it completely. "Ah, I didn't know them very well," he said. "Just enough to know that they would be proud that their son graduated, and that - hm - they'd want you to eat more vegetables."

Naruto scowled. "That's stupid! Don't you know anything else? Like - were they super important? Did they invent an awesome jutsu or beat lots of strong people or -"

"Quit pestering Itachi-san!" Sakura hissed, elbowing him.

"I really can't tell you anything else," said Itachi, still looking blank.

Naruto was sure he was lying. "Okay, fine," he said, "then I'll just have to do this, yanno!"

Sasuke started to protest, but too late. Naruto made the seals as fast as he could and transformed; he leaned across the table, making sure the smoke stayed wrapped around his new, perfect round breasts, and said as sweetly as possible, "Pretty please, oniisama, won't you tell me more?"

Itachi's eyes had flickered red when Naruto made the seals, but he didn't freak out or get a huge nosebleed like Iruka-sensei or anything interesting. He just said, "Hm - so that's the jutsu you wanted to show me yesterday?"

"Um, yeah," Naruto said, playing with one of his ponytails. "Isn't it great? I came up with it all by myself!"

He barely dodged Sakura's fist. "That's the stupidest technique I've ever seen!" she yelled. "You creepy little pervert, I'll -"

"I can see how it could be useful," Itachi said; Sakura stopped mid-swing, and Sasuke stared at Itachi like he'd grown an extra head or something, although Sasuke kinda looked at Itachi that way most of the time. "Let's see - like this?"

He formed the same seals Naruto had, and Naruto's jaw dropped along with Sakura's, because Itachi had just turned _gorgeous_. His hair was longer and loose, flowing down his back, and he wasn't naked like Naruto was under the smoke; instead he was wearing a long kimono, but half-open so that you could see his slender neck and smooth shoulders and Naruto decided to stop looking so hard right there because it was just weird to ogle your best friend's older brother, no matter how pretty he looked with his hair down and a pair of breasts.

"Um - wow," Sakura said with a catch in her voice. "Itachi-san, you look really - um, amazing..." Sasuke was covering his eyes and making strangled angry noises, but he'd done that the first time Naruto had shown him the sexy jutsu too, so Naruto wasn't worried about it.

"You've totally got it!" Naruto said. "But you have to do the voice, too - right, oneesama?"

"Of course," said Itachi, and damn, he did a great voice, too! All smoky and low and super seductive...

"Oh, oneesama, you're so good at this," Naruto said, leaning even further over the table and looking up through his eyelashes. "Won't you please tell me just a little more about -"

The door banged open and that crazy Anko lady burst in. "Made it!" she said. "Sorry I'm late, I had to - Itachi?"

"Anko-san," Itachi said, dropping the transformation instantly; if Naruto didn't know better he'd think that Itachi was worried. On the other hand, it was Anko, so maybe Itachi actually was scared. "This is - well - I was trying something that -"

"Uh-huh," said Anko, and something in her voice made Naruto drop his transformation, too. "Just trying something - yeah, I know what you're gonna be trying. Hey, pink-hair! You need someone to walk you home?"

Sakura jumped. "Um - y-yes, please," she said, although she looked like she'd rather be walked home by starving wolves. "If it isn't too much trouble..."

"Right, let's go," Anko said. "Itachi! My place, soon as I get back, and then we'll really try it out, got it?"

"Yes, Anko-san," said Itachi, and she grinned at him, grabbed Sakura, and disappeared.

Itachi quickly gathered up the rest of the dishes to take to the kitchen; Sasuke was staring at Naruto, and as soon as Itachi was safely away from the table he leaned over it, grabbed Naruto's shirt, and said, "If I ever catch them making out like that, I'm going to kill you."

"Heh - um, sorry?" Naruto said, and decided that maybe he'd better not show Itachi the extra-powerful version, after all.


End file.
